Breaking Free from Your Mental Prison
A No-BS Guide to Finding Peace
Let's talk about that hamster wheel in your head that just. won't. stop.
You know the one - it's got you running through every possible scenario, overthinking a disagreement whether you could have dealt with it differently, and planning seventeen steps ahead while simultaneously replying to 10 different WhatsApp groups making sure you're not missing out on anything.
Sounds fun, right? 🙃
Here's the thing: living in your head isn't just exhausting - it's keeping you trapped in patterns that are probably way too familiar & by now driving you a bit crazy.
Let's break down what's really happening when we're stuck in this mental maze:
1. Missing That Quiet Inner Voice (aka Your Soul's GPS)
Remember the last time you had a gut feeling about something but talked yourself out of it? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Your soul's like that wise friend who whispers the truth, but your mind's like that anxious aunt who's watched too many true crime documentaries.
Your intuition tends to be a subtle nudge, a deep inner knowing that just IS. It's like you don't need proof to know that it is right.
Whereas your mind is loud, divisive & anxiety inducing. It will most likely offer you pros & cons, furiously rattling through all potential scenarios to provide the illusion that you get to be in full control.
Hint: you're never fully in control. There are so many factors in life that we can't control & sometimes sh*t happens. You also can't control others. So there's that.
Practical Tip: Next time you need to make a decision, try this: Before you make your pros and cons list (because I know you will), sit in silence for 5 minutes, breathe deeply & slowly and just notice the sounds & smells around you.
Then ask yourself the question: "What's the most aligned decision right now?" "Which option feels true in my body?"
That first subtle feeling? That's your inner compass trying to get through the mental static.
2. Making Decisions from Fear & Conditioning (The Not-So-Fun Family & Societal Inheritance)
"What if it all goes wrong?" "But what will people think?" "Can I even do this?"
Sound familiar? These thoughts are hand-me-downs from your parents, society, and that one teacher who told you to "be realistic" in third grade.
When repeated enough, it becomes a building block in your operating system. You take it on as yours & after a while there's no way for you to know that in fact it's a conditioning you need to revisit.
Your failures & painful experiences also show up as a type of conditioning or belief where your mind will attempt to control the outcomes of future events by desperately trying to avoid the pain of the past.
& while it's all noble of our mind to do this difficult task & protect us from heartache, it is heavily biased & doesn't have the deep wisdom that our soul & body does. It turns the experience into fear that is to be avoided at all cost even if it means we lose out on the best things in life!
Hint: At the beginning it will be hard to discern between your intuition & fear. Your fear will be so loud & also familiar that you'll mistake it for your intuition. When we've spent years in a specific conditioning, it's become our default channel aka comfort zone. Even if it's not serving our best interest it will still feel like the right thing to do.
Practical Tip:
When you catch yourself in fear-based thinking (loud, anxious voices in your head), ask: "Is this my fear or someone else's movie playing in my head?" Then ask yourself: "What would I do if I knew I couldn't fail?" The difference in those answers? That's your conditioning talking.
Do embodiment and/or somatic practices: When you regularly spend time connecting with your body & switching your mind off, you will slowly start to hear the quiet whispers of your intuition. I run monthly embodiment classes (Release to Peace) that serve just this purpose.
3. Stuck in the External Validation Loop (The People Pleasing Spiral)
Let's be honest - we've all done the "let me ask 47 people what they think before I make a decision" dance. It's like we're collecting opinions like Pokémon cards, hoping they'll somehow add up to clarity.
Or contorting ourselves to fit a certain expectation or standard, not realising that we don't even really want to conform to said standard.
The truth is, what may be true & right for you may be completely off limits to someone else. There is no standard way of being or doing things, let alone making a decision that is right for YOU.
When we are in people pleasing mode, we do things to GET something. We are driven by some kind of external reward.
Hint: Only when you know how to orient from a place of clarity inside of yourself, will you be walking your true & aligned path. As long as you're externally motivated - if I do X I'll get Y - you'll end up overthinking your life & driving down lanes that are leading you to a cul-de-sac.
Practical Tip: Next time you're about to poll your entire contact list about a decision or before you do something significant, pause. Write down what YOU think first. Then ask yourself: "If nobody else would ever know about this choice, what would I do?" Boom - that's your truth talking.
Another good question to ask: "What do I GET if I do Z?" "Am I doing it for the praise/recognition/validation or some kind of ultimate aim that flatters my ego?" If you notice any kind of speculated outcome, then you might want to revisit whether it’s true for you.
4. Disconnected from Your Inner Compass (The GPS vs. Backseat Driver Dilemma)
Similarly to point 1, your inner compass aka intuition is like your personal GPS, but your mind is like having a backseat driver who's convinced they know a "better" route. And somehow that route always leads to more confusion and second-guessing.
I hope you're getting my analogies by now...
The mind is obsessed with control. It's its most important job, actually. It wants to know how & when you're going to get there & how to eliminate all obstacles along the way. It thinks it can direct you through life like it was Mario Kart.
Practical Tip:
Start your day with a body check-in before you check your phone. Place your hand on your heart, take three deep breaths, and just notice how you feel. This simple practice helps you tune into your internal navigation system before the mental noise kicks in.
Create before you consume: I've learnt this little trick from Melissa Ambrosini & absolutely love it. Starting my day scrolling other people's content only puts me in competitive, fight / flighty place where my mind is wreaking havoc. Instead I start my days now by tuning into what wants to come through me, without external influence.
5. Living in Vigilance Mode (The Control Freak's Hamster Wheel)
Ah, the joy of trying to control everything because surely that's the path to peace, right? *Insert laugh-cry emoji here*
You're constantly on high alert, expecting things to go wrong if you're not monitoring every detail. It's like being a helicopter parent to your own life. Exhausting much?
Here's the thing though. When you're living in high vigilance, it's not only your mind doing it. It's your entire nervous system being on high alert. It's just as much a physiological thing as it is a mental state. And when our nervous system is concerned, it often points us to a some level of trauma or wounding.
& take this from a recovering high performing, control freak perfectionist who have suffered attachment wounding throughout my childhood with "healthy" doses of traumatic experiences.
For people like us, being vigilant is a natural state. It's been vital for us to track our environment for cues of danger, physical or emotional. So don't be hard on yourself. This part of you needs a lot of compassion & inner child work. (Topic for another post me thinks!)
Practical Tip: Try this radical experiment: Let one small thing be out of your control today. Don't plan one part of your day. Don't check the tracking on that package seventeen times. Just let it be. Practice trusting that things will work out even if you're not constantly trying to make them & notice how much lighter you'll feel when you let go of some control.
From Mental Chaos to Unshakable Peace
If you've been nodding along while reading the above but still wondering how you're ever going to get yourself out of this mental pickle? I have good news for you…
I know this might sound a bit wild - but that peace you're desperately searching for? It's already there.
How would you approach these practices if you knew that the peace you crave is already within you? That it is inevitable for you to “find” it.
Think of it this way: you're removing layers of distortions that are just not your true nature (cue points 1 - 5) until you land on that eternal, unmoving still place within you, that just KNOWS & it just IS.
The solution is never more thinking (I know, shocking). It's not about figuring it all out. It's about remembering who you are beneath all the mental chatter.
Breaking Free Summary: Your Practical Next Steps
Start with 5 minutes of daily silence. Just 5. Sit, breathe & notice. On repeat. Until it becomes easier.
Create before you consume. Whether it's journaling, making a cup of tea, exercising or writing a blog post. Get lost in your own creation before you're letting external voices into your head.
Before making decisions, resist the pro/cons list & check in with your body first.
Practice letting small things be out of your control (consider it your rebellion against your inner control freak). I'd even go there & say: embrace chaos! (maybe don't make the bed immediately upon getting up & if you're a Virgo like me, that in itself is reason to celebrate!)
When you notice you're spiralling, ask: "Is this thought helping or just creating more chaos?"
The Bottom Line
Until you learn to step out of the mental prison, you're basically letting your thoughts run your life like a chaotic toddler with scissors. Recipe for disaster.
But here's the good news: peace isn't some mystical state reserved for monks on mountaintops. It's your natural state - you've just got some mental clutter in the way.
Peace is when you're fully present & resist the temptation to follow your mind's lead. It's not an empty mind. It's a mind that's in the backseat.
Ready to trade that mental chaos for unshakeable peace? Start with one small step today. Your future calmer self will thank you.
Remember: You're not your thoughts. You're the peaceful awareness behind them. And that awareness is always there, waiting for you to remember it.
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What's your biggest challenge when it comes to breaking free from mental chaos? Drop a comment below - let's chat about it! ⬇️
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